The Rosie Result Read online

  The problems I hadn’t solved were, unfortunately, the most important. Rosie’s work situation had reverted to what it was before. Hudson was unhappy, on the brink of being expelled from school, and banned from visiting his closest friend. I expected that our family situation would be dominated by these new problems for the foreseeable future. And though much of the Hudson Project was outsourced, it was obvious that the fault was mine.

  35

  Minh came into the bar again two nights later and I thanked her for her advice on the Judas situation, which Rosie had decided to take.

  ‘It’s easier to see what needs to happen when you’re not part of it,’ said Minh. ‘What’s going on with Hudson?’

  I outlined the series of events.

  ‘Maybe he killed the bird,’ she said. ‘Maybe not. A lot of weird shit happens in school. Maybe some other kid did it and he’s protecting him. How was he going to catch a bird, anyway? I wouldn’t worry about it, except for the trouble it’s got him into. He’s not the sort of kid who kills animals for kicks. You can trust me on that.’

  Hudson was sitting alone reading a book. For the first time, he had not asked for App Help to be written on his head.

  ‘You’re familiar with children’s behaviour?’ I asked.

  ‘I’m familiar with Hudson. And I’ve got two of my own.’

  I was astounded, for no logical reason. It had never occurred to me that Minh would have children.

  ‘Who looks after them?’

  ‘How many times have you been asked by a business colleague, “Who looks after Hudson?”’

  ‘Rosie has raised this topic previously with me. I shouldn’t have asked. Apologies for the sexism.’

  ‘You can pay me back by calling it out when someone else does it. But about Rosie and Judas: I think he’s playing her. Anyway, you wanted to know about my children.’

  ‘Inappropriately. Is there an appropriate way to ask? Since I’m interested and unlikely to use the information to oppress you?’

  ‘The world’s best grandmother,’ she said, and laughed. ‘I see them between getting home from work and coming here. They’re in bed by then.’

  ‘Do you have a partner?’

  ‘The kids have a father and he’s good, but no, I don’t have a partner. You can tell Amghad if he hasn’t worked it out yet,’ she said, and laughed again.

  Twenty minutes later, Minh interrupted me while I was muddling a lime. ‘So now you guys have got yourselves a week of holidays where you don’t have to compete for accommodation with all the other families with schoolkids.’

  ‘Except Rosie still has her job and I have to work here.’

  ‘You’ve got the week off if you want it. I just spoke to Amghad. I’ll cover for you and he’ll be around if I need help. Maybe Rosie can get some leave. If not, it can be a men’s trip. Fishing and beer.’

  Rosie authorised Hudson and me to be absent from the Monday to the Friday preceding the school holidays. Encouraged us.

  ‘We should have put it in the marriage contract,’ she said. ‘Occasional time out isn’t such a bad thing. Have you asked Hudson?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘Take Dave,’ she said. ‘If it’s just you, Hudson’s going to feel he’s under the microscope. And you hardly see Dave. After they came all this way.’

  Rosie was right. Since the birth of Hudson, I had seen my friends less frequently. The move back to Australia had exacerbated the situation, as I had fewer friends here, especially with the deletion of Gene. With the block-making equipment installed at his residence, Dave was no longer visiting regularly.

  Also, I recalled, Dave had fishing experience. I had avoided boating with my father due to seasickness.

  Rosie had one more suggestion. ‘This might be a good chance to bring up the autism thing.’

  ‘It might.’

  ‘Let me rephrase that. You need to bring it up. I think it’s best that it’s just one of us, so if he’s upset he can speak to the other.’

  I was becoming familiar with this protocol. ‘So I’ll be bad cop.’

  ‘Your turn.’

  ‘You get to be bad cop with the principal and I have to be bad cop with Hudson. The situations are not equivalent.’

  ‘You get to have more time with Hudson to make up. So, mandatory task: tell Hudson about the school’s desire to have him evaluated. Find out what he thinks. Choose a good time to raise it from his perspective rather than getting it out of the way as soon as you get in the car.’

  ‘Can Dave be present?’

  ‘Your call. I’m not going to tell you what to do.’

  Hudson agreed to the trip, under certain conditions: route designed to include second-hand bookshops; meat at every meal unless we caught fish; no requirement to dissect fish. He strongly endorsed the inclusion of Dave.

  I had assumed Dave would be required at home for childminding duties, but he and Sonia had engaged the services of a specialist who could increase her hours for the week. Dave’s income from block-making would cover the cost.

  ‘You can invite Zina,’ I said. ‘Assuming she enjoys fishing and talking about baseball. And watching her father drink beer.’

  ‘She’s in school, remember?’ said Dave. ‘She was a bit righteous about Hudson being suspended and then going on a trip. You know how girls are.’

  I had no idea how girls were, but the outcome was excellent. We took Phil’s Toyota and drove towards Shepparton to collect equipment.

  Dave plugged his phone into the car’s USB port.

  ‘No requirement for electronic navigation,’ I said. But music began playing through the sound system.

  ‘What’s that?’ I asked.

  ‘Music,’ said Dave. ‘I figured you wouldn’t have any.’

  ‘I have podcasts, but I presumed they would not be of interest to all passengers, so I didn’t plan to play them.’ Empathy. Empathy would also suggest not playing hard-rock music that would not be of interest to all passengers.

  ‘You’re okay with this?’ said Dave.

  ‘What era is it from?’

  ‘It’s Guns N’ Roses. Early nineties.’

  ‘Bad influence on Hudson. His musical tastes will be forming, and if he imprints 1990s music, he will lack common ground for communication with peers.’

  ‘The voice of experience.’

  ‘Correct. I didn’t have any musical interests of my own and failed to advance from my parents’ music.’

  ‘Good point,’ said Dave. ‘We don’t need the Rolling Stones handed down to a third generation. What sort of music do you like, Hudson?’

  ‘I don’t really listen to music.’

  ‘You’ve got a phone? Get on the internet and see what station is playing music that’s hot right now.’

  At Tillman Hardware, there was some confusion.

  ‘I’ve sorted out three rods and reels,’ said Trevor. ‘It’s good gear, just a bit old, plus a couple of boxes of lures. It’s in the garage at Mum’s.’

  ‘We have to go to Mum’s?’

  Trevor smiled. Something had changed in him since my father’s death. I am relatively insensitive to body language, so the difference must have been dramatic. Dave was examining the stock.

  ‘You’re gay, aren’t you?’ said Hudson to Trevor.

  ‘How did you work that out?’

  ‘Dad told me.’

  ‘Good. Because that’s what I am. I hope you’re okay with that.’

  ‘Sort of. I get called gay at school because my two best friends are girls. Which is a bit weird, right?’

  ‘I suppose they say it like it’s a bad thing. It’s not, unless you’re ashamed of what you are. That’s not a good way to live. Do you think you’re gay?’

  Hudson looked at me.

  ‘I can probably tell you if you’re gay or not, but not in front of your father. So, Don, go and help your mate choose the sandpaper. Like old times.’

  ‘Are you gay?’ I asked Hudson as soon as we were back in the car. Dave
, in the front seat beside me, was surprised at the question, being unfamiliar with the earlier discussion.

  ‘Probably not,’ said Hudson. ‘Uncle Trevor says nothing’s certain, but he’d bet on me being straight.’

  ‘What questions did he ask?’ I doubted Trevor, despite his personal experience, was qualified to determine sexual orientation in an eleven-year-old.

  ‘Basically, if I was attracted to girls or boys. I told him, and he said, “Probably not gay.” He said he knew when he was my age.’

  ‘There must have been other questions. You were talking a long time.’

  ‘I wanted to know if he was going to have kids. That’s why I asked the question about being gay.’

  ‘You’d like to have cousins?’ said Dave.

  ‘Not really. Actually, no. They’d just be little kids. And they’d have inherited the hardware shop.’

  ‘Always the businessman,’ said Dave. ‘You’re the only grandchild?’

  ‘Uh-huh. But it doesn’t matter. Uncle Trevor’s selling the shop and moving to Sydney.’

  I was shocked. My father’s death; the sale of the hardware store after Trevor had achieved his lifelong ambition of owning it; Trevor moving away. The only reason for visiting Shepparton would be my mother.

  ‘I’m thinking I’ll move to Melbourne,’ said my mother. She had insisted we stay for lunch, which consisted of processed ham and a salad containing canned beetroot, canned pineapple and canned asparagus. I explained to Dave that Shepparton was famous for its canning industry.

  ‘I’ve had an offer for the house and I’m going to sell it. Trevor’s moving out and it’s too big for me.’

  ‘But…you want to live in Melbourne?’

  ‘I’ll just get a little flat somewhere trendy. Where there’s a bit of life. People, shops, things to do. Maybe near you and Rosie, so I can see a bit more of my grandson.’

  ‘You could give us all your money and we could get a huge house with a granny flat,’ said Hudson. ‘Nadia—she’s a girl at school—her grandma lives out the back. Nadia doesn’t like her but that’s the price you pay.’

  My mother laughed. ‘You might all be a bit organised for me. I’ve had fifty-five years of that and I think I’m due for a break.’

  Back in the car, Dave was using the contact time with Hudson to familiarise him with current popular music. I knew from my own experience that this would be an extended project: repeated listening was necessary to make sense of the complexities. The music playing on the radio was unfamiliar and hence impenetrable to me. But it reminded me that I had omitted an item from my list.

  ‘Can you clap your hands in time with the music?’ I asked Hudson.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because rhythm is crucial to dancing without looking incompetent. Basic social skill.’

  Rosie and I had taken dancing lessons, and my principal challenge had been learning how to detect and synchronise with the beat.

  ‘Can I do it some other time?’ said Hudson. ‘This is supposed to be a holiday.’

  ‘Got my vote,’ said Dave.

  36

  Although it was still light when we arrived at the lake, we decided to defer fishing until the morning. The house we had rented included a backyard, and Dave recommended that Hudson take a fishing rod outside to practise casting.

  ‘I don’t know how,’ he said.

  ‘That’s what old men used to be good for,’ said Dave. ‘Now you’ve got the internet.’

  Hudson and I began unpacking the vehicle. Dave was of limited use due to one arm being required for his crutch, but he seemed to be relying on it less.

  ‘What’s in this box?’ I asked Dave.

  ‘Blocks and chisels. I’m going to play with a couple ideas. Stop me snacking.’

  ‘No risk of snacking. Due to absence of snacks.’

  ‘Buddy, I’ve gotta thank you. You’ve saved my life. I mean, the weight’s coming off; I’ve got a job. If the orders keep coming in, and I work regular hours, I could make more than I did in refrigeration. And Sonia’s happy.’

  Dave removed the cap from a 330 ml bottle of craft beer and raised it in my direction. ‘You want one?’

  ‘Too early. Alcohol shouldn’t—’

  ‘Doesn’t apply to the fishing trip. Thanks, buddy. And to Hudson, too. I couldn’t have done it without him. Junior partner in size only.’

  Partner seemed an inappropriate label for an eleven-year-old who had offered some input to block design and set up a website, but in the interests of supporting Dave’s positive outlook, I opened a bottle for myself and clinked it with his.

  Hudson returned from the backyard. ‘Can’t do it.’

  ‘Dave can show you how,’ I said.

  Dave put his beer down. ‘I can’t show you how, but maybe we can figure out these internet instructions.’

  They were gone for an hour while I conducted pre-dinner preparations.

  ‘Any improvement?’ I asked when they returned.

  Hudson laughed. ‘The video was pretty bad. But we worked it out.’

  ‘Good enough to get the lure in the water,’ said Dave. ‘After that, it’ll be up to the fish. Are we going to barbecue this meat? There’s a gas barbecue on the deck. You know how to operate these things, Don?’

  ‘I can operate one, but I don’t know how to calculate cooking times.’

  ‘Hit the net again, Hudson. We’re not cooking indoors when we can barbecue. What are we cooking, Don?’

  ‘Kangaroo.’

  ‘No way,’ said Hudson.

  Hudson had previously liked all forms of meat that he had tried but had not been exposed to kangaroo. Dislike of certain foods was a reported characteristic of autism. But if I used Hudson’s behaviour as an excuse for raising the topic, I would be commencing the discussion with an item of evidence for a positive diagnosis—evidence that could be interpreted as a fault. This was going to be more difficult than I had anticipated.

  ‘Never eaten it,’ said Dave to Hudson, ‘but I’ve got a trick. Works for all meat. Pretty much everything. You like ketchup? Mustard? Chilli?’

  ‘Ketchup,’ said Hudson.

  Dave went to the pantry. ‘We’re in luck. Once you’ve slapped this on it’ll taste the same as anything else with ketchup.’

  I was horrified. Dave laughed. ‘Look at your dad. He’s in shock. You’ve gotta do it now.’

  ‘You have to go first,’ said Hudson.

  ‘Sure,’ said Dave. ‘You want to cook it for us?’

  The following morning, we went fishing. The ketchup trick with the kangaroo had been necessary only initially, and both Dave and Hudson had evaluated the meal as successful. They seemed in a positive mood, and I was confident we would now not have problems with the rabbit and the calf liver.

  I had been surprised by Dave’s lack of knowledge of fishing, but he explained that his experience had been from a boat and was not applicable to a lake setting.

  ‘I thought you’d be the expert,’ said Dave. ‘You’re expert at everything. Isn’t he, Hudson?’

  To my amazement, Hudson nodded. Dave’s statement was entirely at odds with my own assessment of my capabilities, in particular those requiring physical co-ordination. I shook my head.

  ‘C’mon,’ said Dave. ‘Computers, karate, setting up a lathe. You’re Einstein in overalls.’

  ‘I wasn’t naturally talented at anything physical. It took considerable practice.’

  ‘Makes it even more impressive. When I was trying to lose weight, I was embarrassed because you seemed to be able to do anything you put your mind to and I couldn’t even stop myself from eating a burger.’

  ‘But you’ve succeeded.’

  ‘You want to know how hard it’s been? I’ve got a list by my bed. It’s the first thing I see every morning when I wake up. Stuff to eat, stuff not to eat. And my weight. Updated every day. I need to see that number to keep me going.’

  ‘Did you bring it with you?’ said Hudson. ‘The list?’

&nbs
p; ‘Yep. But you don’t get to see it. It’s too embarrassing. Stuff like Don’t buy pretzels.’ He paused. ‘And Sonia doesn’t like fat guys.’

  ‘She likes you,’ I said. ‘You’ve always been overweight.’

  ‘This stuff isn’t about logic. It’s about motivation. Look at you. You’ve lost weight too.’

  Keeping busy at the bar had reduced my alcohol intake and the weight loss had followed. Phil’s advice had been correct, even though I had not consciously followed it. With the resumption of martial arts, I was in the best shape I’d been in since the Oyster Knife Incident.

  Dave looked at Hudson. ‘If you work at it, you can do anything you want.’

  To someone watching, my attempts at casting a lure would probably have been comedic. The scenario was not hypothetical, as Dave and Hudson were watching—and laughing.

  Their efforts were more successful: in fact, Hudson appeared to have acquired the skill more quickly than Dave. We stopped to eat the lunch I had packed, and, to my surprise, Hudson was interested in continuing afterwards. I was still having zero success.

  ‘Get Hudson to show you,’ said Dave.

  Hudson demonstrated the technique, and, after multiple attempts, I managed to hit the water. ‘Good work, Dad,’ said Hudson. ‘Now just keep practising.’

  As the sun began to set, Dave got up. ‘Need a bit of time out,’ he said and walked away, leaving behind the crutch, which had been sitting on the bank.

  He returned about ninety minutes later. He had caught two trout. He and Hudson high-fived. ‘Had to get away from the tall guy scaring the fish with all his splashing,’ he said.

  While I prepared the trout, Hudson went to the backyard and practised casting. ‘He did all right,’ said Dave. ‘Early start tomorrow?’

  ‘I recommend finishing at lunchtime,’ I said. ‘I can use the afternoon to prepare a more interesting meal.’